How do I end this dynamic WITHOUT ending up divorced or in jail? If your answer is take control, then HOW?

I work fulltime, but get accused by my wife that I'm less than a man and she supports me because she has to go to work (which doesn't mathematically add up since we make the same thing). Also considering that I wake up, get the kids up and dressed, fed and off to school/ daycare, load the dishwasher, go to work, get ten phone calls about things my wife wants me to squeeze in while I'm at work, get home cook, while being bitched at about my wife's bad day at work because it's my fault I'm less than a man and she has to work, try to keep the kids in line so we can just sit down and eat. Unload the dishwasher, go yell at the kids to stop f**king around in the bath, mop up the slop all over the bathroom, make the kids brush their teeth, make my daughter finish her homeowrk, then tell them a story so that they can pretend to go to bed but get up and and beg and whine for the next hour and a half. Get yelled at by my wife about how mean I am and don't spend time with the kids once I finally go get them in line to go to sleep. Try to explain why we can't vacuum right now because the kids are in bed. Lose the argument, vacuum and then put the baby back to sleep. Feed the fish (that the kids promised to be responsible for) water the plants (cuz my wife wants it pretty). Have my wife whine that I make her anxious when I don't sit down. Sit down. Have her whine about how she's stressed and doesn't feel like she gets any help or support. Go to bed, get yelled at that I always run off without getting anything resolved. Get out of bed and pop enough Benadryl that I'll fall asleep regardless of whether or not she tries to pick a fight with me. Wake up at 2:00AM, try not to wake her up while I jerk off, fall back asleep and start the routine all over again in the morning.How do I end this dynamic WITHOUT ending up divorced or in jail? If your answer is take control, then HOW?
Sounds like she has a classical view of what a marriage should be, staying at home while you go out and earn the bread.





The reality of modern life is that it just doesn't work that way anymore. Here are some options in order from least dramatic to most.





A. Get her a new job, the stress from her job is spilling over into your life and your family. Find out what she really wanted to do and tell her to get something in that field.





B. Downsize. Reduce your monthly expenses, buy a cheaper house, rent, get used cars anything you can do to reduce the need for her income, then get her a part time job or no job at all so she can be home more freeing up more of your time.





C. Leave dodge. A hard reset of your life may be in order, relocate to a different area altogether and get new jobs,new friends etc etc...





D. If all else fails there is always the ';D'; option, it sucks I know but sometimes it is for the best.





Talk with her about how you feel and what you want and about what she wants. Be semi-assertive in the conversations so that she won't blow you off. Let her know you are NOT satisfied with the status quo. Her reaction to this conversation will give you valuable insight as to what you best option really is.How do I end this dynamic WITHOUT ending up divorced or in jail? If your answer is take control, then HOW?
I have felt your pain.





Go to the website below, they helped us, they can help you.
Have her read your question maybe reality will sink in.
go to counseling
Why would you NOT want to get divorced in a situation like this?
You sound like a good man and your wife takes you for granted. She should NEVER use the fact that she makes more money as ammo for an argument. You're married, so the money belongs to both of you. She sounds really bossy too. Does she treat you like an equal or a slave? Stand up for yourself!